Saturday, August 6, 2016

Review - The Unborn

Gary Oldman, Idris Elba and several other familiar faces are squandered in this umpty-thousandth exorcism outing. By “squandered” I mean that their roles amounted to so little that they could easily have been played by thespians of far lesser renown. Once again a dybbuk is the agent of evil, poking an Auschwitz sidebar onto an otherwise well-trodden path. Mildly amusing

Review - Convergence

A cop gets blown up in a bombing and ends up in a state of near-death hallucinations or purgatory or two or three alternate realities or really it does’t make any difference. The picture rarely stays in the same plane of existence for more that a minute or two. The audience is asked to unravel a mystery without any reliable clues. So unless you’re easily entertained by random gore or odd religious ramblings, you’ll probably find this exceptionally dull. See if desperate

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Review - Manson Family Vacation

Part dysfunctional family indie, part fanboy odyssey, all dull crap. A responsible family man gets a visit from his louche, Manson-obsessed brother. Their contrasting personalities create an endless parade of awkward moments as the plot meanders toward a conclusion viewers can easily predict in the first ten minutes. See if desperate

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Review - Dream House

Around midway through this thriller I started to wonder what legal obligation a realtor might have to disclose to potential buyers a house’s history as the site of brutal murders. Looking up the answer (generally none, by the way) proved more entertaining than the movie itself. The producers spent the money to get Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz, which apparently left them nothing in the budget for an original plot. I won’t spoil things for anyone who wants to take this on, even though it’s likely to prove a disappointment. See if desperate

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Review - Zootopia

Cute. The world building is a big part of the fun, imagining what a metropolis where anthropomorphic animals live together in harmony. A believing-in-her-dreams rabbit becomes the first lagomorph on the Zootopia police force. With the help of a con artist fox, she unravels a plot to turn the predator species back to their ancient, prey-eating ways. Though aimed at kids – and maybe furries – this is still worth a look for anyone in the mood for some simple entertainment. Worth seeing

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Review - The Colony

In the wake of some icy apocalypse, the tattered remains of the human race huddle in underground colonies. A bad situation turns worse when a band of nomadic cannibals shows up and tries to make a meal of everyone. Around midway through I got so bored that I started musing about how long a planet with no plant life could maintain a breathable oxygen supply. See if desperate

Review - The Abandoned

Once again weak writing and indifferent casting create a production where everything else is upstaged by the location. They found some cool old buildings to shoot this in, but the drama that unfolds is typical night-watch-guards-poking-their-noses-where-they-don’t-belong stuff. See if desperate