Saturday, August 23, 2008

Review – Black Swarm

So here’s where Robert Englund’s career went to die, stung to death by killer CGI wasps. The local exterminator tries to rekindle a relationship with the widow of his dead twin brother while her daughter eats a peach grown by a mad scientist who works on genetically modifying bugs for bioweapons use, and the fruit transforms her into the queen of killer CGI wasps, and then … well, you get the idea. They might even have been able to pull this off in a limited way if only the wasps’ stings hadn’t transformed their victims into homicidal zombies. I don’t know why the zombie thing was the ridiculous twist that finally pushed it too far, but it did the trick. See if desperate

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Review – Atlantis, The Lost Continent

If there had been a Sci Fi Channel in the 1960s, I’m sure it would have produced this movie. This is the meandering tale of a Greek fisherman who gets conned into helping an Atlantean princess return to her homeland. Once they get there, the bad guy enslaves our hero, plots the conquest of the earth, and ignores the warning signs from the island’s volcano. Though it has a moment or two, overall this is George Pal corny and dated without being George Pal clever and interesting. See if desperate

Friday, August 1, 2008

Review – Doomsday

It’s a bit unfair to fault this production for including excessive, pointless violence against animals, because in truth the entire movie was excessive and pointless. Almost the whole thing was “lovingly borrowed” from other pictures. The set-up is 28 Days Later, but once the plot gets going it turns into Escape from New York with a female protagonist. Along the way we get a hefty dose of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, some Aliens, and a handful of other horror/action movies sprinkled in for good measure. What we don’t get is a coherent plot of any kind or even interesting characters. If you can endure a couple of hours of nothing but witless, visceral nonsense, then you’re welcome to it. Wish I’d skipped it