Tuesday, March 15, 2011


Apparently the latest meme is to speculate about what famous movies would be like if you played them backward. My favorite so far is "Jaws played backward would be a movie about a giant shark that keeps throwing up people until they open the beach."

Who am I to blow against the wind?

If you watch Do the Right Thing backward, race relations in Bedford Stuy gradually improve.

If you watch The Thing backward, monsters turn into people and the show ends with a helicopter flying away from a dog.

If you watch The Lost Weekend backward, Ray Milland works hard to develop a drinking problem.

If you watch Heaven's Gate backward, you're bored to tears for two and a half hours but at least Michael Cimino gets his career back.

If you watch a James Bond movie backward, the hero lets the villain go and then spends the rest of the movie rebuilding cars and running away from women.

If you watch A Clockwork Orange backward, sinister government scientists kidnap a nice young man, brainwash him and turn him into a violent gang member.

While we're on Kubrick sci fi movies: if you watch 2001: A Space Odyssey backward, an astronaut returns from infinity and flies back to Earth, where eventually a slab turns everyone into apes.

And just so we finish with an even eight, if you watch Alien backward, a giant bug brings people back to life. To repay it, they shrink it down, cram it in an egg and leave it stranded on a desolate, lifeless planet.

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