Thursday, May 29, 2014

Review – The Adventurer: The Curse of the Midas Box

I’m trying to think of any vaguely Verne-y bit of Victorian sci fi that turned into a big financial success. I could at least respect the effort if they were doing it for the love of storytelling (though I admit whoever made this likes this kind of story better than I do). But the end is such an obvious sequel set-up that clearly expectations were higher for box office returns (or DVD rentals or instant views or however success of such ventures is measured now). Mildly amusing

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Review – Apartment 1303

Tedious ghost story. The acting is okay and the production values are good (thank goodness no found footage crap). But the script is weak, exploiting the same shocks over and over, never really progressing much beyond the bare bones of a haunted apartment tale. See if desperate

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Review – Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2

I’m always nervous at the start of the sequels to popular animated movies; often they prove to be low budget attempts to cash in on the “kids will watch anything” theory. So I was pleased to find that they put an appropriate effort into this production. I thought the environmentalism was spread a little thick (even though I certainly sympathize with the message). But otherwise this was goofy fun on par with the first movie. Mildly amusing

Friday, May 2, 2014

Review – Banshee Chapter

Y’know, just the other day I was wondering what might have happened if Hunter S. Thompson tuned a short wave radio to a numbers station and then took a massive dose of DMT created by the CIA back in the MK-ULTRA days using extractions from the pineal glands of corpses. And now here we have the answer: transdimensional monsters use everyone who takes the drug as a gateway to enter our world. This indie production mixes up an impressive batch of ingredients but then fails to bake it into a cake. A more coherent story would have been a real plus. Mildly amusing

Review – All Hallows’ Eve

The advantage to anthology pieces is that if you hate one of the segments, at least it will be over in less-than-feature-length time. But then if all three segments and the bracket are amateurish, grainy gorefests, the experience is pretty much the same as watching a single, feature-length piece of crap. If you’re scared of clowns, this should terrify you at least as much as an episode of Howdy Doody. Otherwise the only way you’ll get any joy out of the experience is if you’re excited by cheap gore and screaming women. Wish I’d skipped it