Friday, February 26, 2016

Review - A Good Marriage

What would you do if you suddenly discovered your spouse was a serial killer? Stephen King poses the question in the novella upon which this movie is based. Scripted by the author, it uses some tricks such as dream sequences that might work in print but come across as awkward on screen. It also goes on for awhile after its natural conclusion. But overall it was a reasonably entertaining exploration of a housewife stuck with a terrible dilemma. Mildly amusing

Review - Dark Was the Night

I’m surprised I’ve watched horror movies for so many years without ever seeing one based on the Devonshire Devil before. This picture relocates the tale from 19th century England to 21st century small town America, but otherwise it’s a fairly faithful adaptation. The script is a little uneven, mixing the main story in with some really dull subplots. And the filter work on the visuals is purely ridiculous. Otherwise, however, this is a skillfully produced monster movie. Mildly amusing

Review - The Hollow

The star of this show is the CGI monster, a humanoid brush fire out for revenge against people who died centuries ago. If this had been in a movie in the 1970s, it would have been the awesomest thing ever. In an age filled with digital effects, however, more is required of a movie. And this one fails to deliver. The writer and director seem completely unable to coax any emotions out of the characters other than petty anger and abject terror, which of course makes them impossible to sympathize with in any way. Thus a creature with a lot of potential gets squandered on a meandering, weak script and indifferent production standards. See if desperate

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Review - The Diabolical

This movie should have gotten to the point way faster. In the third act it transforms into a vaguely interesting sci-fi-conspiracy piece. That would have been great if the first two thirds hadn’t been a thoroughly boring tale of suburban malaise interrupted at irregular intervals by intrusions from a boogeyman of some kind. See if desperate

Monday, February 8, 2016

Review - Congo

I think if I’d reviewed this when I first saw it, I might have come to a slightly different conclusion. Overall this is an entertaining action movie, a classic Michael Crichton blend of science and thrills. But that also makes it seem somewhat dated. Mildly amusing.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Review - Bone Tomahawk

Although Deadwood is my all-time favorite TV series, I generally don’t like westerns as much as I like a good horror movie. Thus I would have preferred a little less of the former in the early going, though at least it was reasonably well done. As were the monsters when they finally appeared. The result is a Sergio-Leone-esque revamp of The Hills Have Eyes. With all the brutal violence that implies. Mildly amusing.

Review - The Inhabitants

If I’m being honest, I have to admit that I have no memory of sitting through this movie. It’s on my list, so I must have seen it. Unfortunately I let it go so long before getting to the review that at this point I don’t recall anything about it. So I turned to IMDb to see if its entry jogged my memory. The plot summary was no help, identifying the picture only as the tale of a young couple who buy a B&B only to discover that it’s haunted. None of the seven reviews said much beyond that, either. Even the preview didn’t ring many bells. So I guess I’ll rate it “mildly amusing” as it left no lasting impression on me one way or another.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Review - Behind the Candelabra

One would hope that by 2013 we’d be past the point when casting the likes of Michael Douglas and Matt Damon in gay roles would be considered amusing in and of itself. Apparently not. If you have as much fun watching Douglas play Liberace as the actor seems to be having “slumming” in the role, then you’re going to love this picture. If you’re more like me, you’ll likely find it a bizarre and disrespectful intrusion into the life of a dead celebrity. See if desperate.

Review - Soaked in Bleach

If this film had actually been soaked in bleach, all the colors would have run out of it and it would have been an hour and a half of blank screen. Yeah, I know this thing was shot digitally, but a joke about soaking memory cards in bleach wouldn’t have been as funny. In any event, 90 minutes of nothing would have been more entertaining and informative than yet another conspiracy theory production about how Courtney Love had Kurt Cobain murdered. Wish I’d skipped it.