Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Review - Clown

Eager to impress his kid, a guy puts on a clown costume he finds in a hidden closet in an empty house. But then he can’t take it off. And worse, it’s turning him into an evil clown demon. This might not have been a bad be-careful-what-you-wish-for picture, but I just can’t seem to get past the inherent stupidity of the whole evil clown thing. See if desperate

Review - Alien: Covenant

Ridley Scott apparently wants to know if viewers will forgive him for Prometheus if he tries to mulligan it into an actual Alien movie. Not this viewer. Though this does have some fun monster stuff here and there, it’s still way too full of weird backstory and poetry-reciting robots. And though I know movies need a little leeway in this department, I was put off by how heavily the plot depends on characters who make monumentally stupid decisions. Come for the flashy effects, but don’t feel like you have to stay for the story. Mildly amusing

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Review - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

Nope. Chase them back under their rocks, please. The Turtles began life as a gritty, violent manga parody, and then they broadened their appeal by becoming a goofy cartoon for kids. This production features none of the cleverness and non-creepiness needed to get it to succeed either with adults or kids. The nicest thing I can say about it is that by the end I could kinda tell the four protagonists apart. See if desperate

Friday, May 26, 2017

Review - The Human Centipede

Technically this first movie in the series is called “The Human Centipede: First Sequence.” But as I have absolutely no intention of seeing the other two, it isn’t necessary to make a distinction here. If you’ve seen one movie about an insane surgeon who sews people together mouth to butthole, you’ve seen them all. Wish I’d skipped it

Friday, May 12, 2017

Review - Spotlight

As a rule I’m skeptical about Best Picture Oscar winners, especially after Crash. But this one actually deserves the award. It brings public attention to the issue of sexual abuse of children. It shows how good investigative journalism works. And it does it with at least a measure of subtlety. Given the subject matter, this isn’t exactly an easy watch. But if you do decide to take it on, watch how the production quality changes as the story progresses. Worth seeing